SPOILER WARNING.
Okay, dear readers. It is getting close. At the end of Part 3: Mergers, we are suddenly presented with the solution to who is the Man Who Hate(s) Women.
Let’s define suddenly. Abruptly, unexpectedly, out of the blue. It is obvious that the author Stieg Larsson is so bored with writing this part of the novel that he takes handfuls of torn up laser paper fresh off the printer, and throws it to the wind. Larsson is running for the first finish line so that he can get to the real fantasy finish of the novel, the novel he really wants to write, not this one.
Mikael discovers that Martin was on the island the afternoon that Harriet went missing. Mikael goes to Martin’s house in the late evening to ask him about this discrepancy between report and fact. Martin pounces on Mikael, drags him down to his torture room, shackles him, strips him, and confesses all.
Martin. Harriet’s brother. Oh and the father too, by the way. Serial murderers. The father sexually abused Harriet when she was a teenager. The father made Martin sexually abuse Harriet. The father forced Martin to perform fellatio on him and initiated Martin into the cult of sadistic serial slaughter. Just how it is. Just a few pages here of fevered conversation.
(And, you know, come to think of it, Swedish men in this novel seem to treat their women badly. Let’s see, there are a few in the novel who are good guys. Dragan Armansky is a good guy but he’s Croatian, after all. Oh, perhaps Palmquist, the lawyer/guardian, is on the good list. He’s Swedish. But I digress. As does Larsson quite often.)(No, Mikael is not on my good list. He is emotionally disassociated from his women. Even from his daughter.)
Now, don’t worry, dear reader. Lisbeth saves Mikael. Don’t know how she knew to come looking for Mikael at Martin’s house, but – hey! Hang a lantern on it; she’s good. Must be.
Lisbeth takes a golf club to Martin. Doesn’t kill him. But Mikael is freed. Don’t worry, dear reader. Martin kills himself. Something about a car crash, turning headlong into a big truck. Yada-yada. Don’t quote me on the details here because I was skimming through this part. Boring.
(The famed authors of “Structuring Your Novel” – Robert Meredith and John Fitzgerald – say “Don’t write the parts that readers won’t read.” Exemplary example here. Gratuitously violent, nasty sex-torture, or boring chase scenes. Won’t read. Don’t write.)
[Big sigh here. Pant. Pant. Pant.] Must finish blogging, must finish blogging. It’s a race to the boring end …
Martin doesn’t know what happened to Harriet. But we find through a quick and implausible twist of the plot, that Cecilia’s almost twin sister Anita helped Harriet off the island, gave Harriet her own passport. Harriet runs to Switzerland and lives in a convent until she meets a landed Australian. Marries him. Moves to Australia. Manages a sheep farm. They get rich. She’s a shining example of a WONDERFULLY competent woman. Comes back to the island and turns the Vanger family business around. Tears and applause all ‘round. End of story.
Well not quite.
I can’t stand it anymore. Here is the last paragraph of a book review by Alex Berenson, New York Times 9/14/08, who says it so much better than I:
But the real disappointment in “Girl” comes in its final section, after the mystery of Harriet’s disappearance has been solved. Without any warning, “Girl” metamorphoses into a boring account of [Mikael] Blomkvist’s effort to take down the executive who originally won the libel lawsuit mentioned at the start of the novel. The story of his revenge is boring and implausible, relying heavily on lazy e-mail exchanges between characters. And so “Girl” ends blandly. Only Ake Daun and the Swedish tourist board can be happy about that.
Thank you, Mr. Berenson. I’ll read every novel you ever write in gratitude for your succinct synopsis of the ending chapters of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. You saved me.
I must go now and lie down for a rest. This novel was so bad, I need a swooning couch.
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