Book Review: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Intriguing beginning, interesting set up, boring performance.

Do editors even read the last third of a book?

This is a novel that cries out for a hard-nosed, competent editor to sit the author down and tell him frankly he has lost focus and credibility.

Let’s start with the endings, shall we? The author rushed to three separate endings, none of which had any believable relation to the next. Was he thinking of movie rights? Did he perform an “audience poll” to see what would be most conventional to the paying public? Or did he just get bored with his own story. I vote for the last.

Ending number one: the author just takes us by the necktie and throws us into the solution to serial murders of women. He doesn’t develop the present day murders committed by Harriet’s brother Martin. He has given us little hint that these murders were even committed. Hang a light on it, I guess – it must be that Martin is so much better at stalking and capturing his victims than was the hideous Nazi-loving father. Sure. Try another tactic. Poor story development. Lazy, in fact.

Ending number two: Harriet is still alive, in Australia, very rich, a shining example of a perfect woman. Cecilia’s almost twin sister Anita helped Harriet off the island, gave Harriet her own passport. Harriet runs to Switzerland and lives in a convent until she meets a landed Australian. Marries him. Moves to Australia. Manages a sheep farm. They get rich. She’s a shining example of a WONDERFULLY competent woman. Comes back to the island and turns the Vanger family business around. Tears and applause all ‘round.

We have no hint that Harriet would be this person. Last we heard of her, she was vacillating in the ‘tween teen world of church-girl and wanton-bitch. And during the gratuitously violent sex-scene with “suddenly revealed as crazy” Martin, we find she was abused by both her father and her brother – abuse that began only when she became a young adult; is that really possible in the world of ugly, sadistic hate-filled men that Larsson presents? One cannot suspend disbelief that far. These men would have been hurting her from the time she was a young child. But that would not support Larsson’s story-line because otherwise how could Harriet have had an authentic relationship with Uncle Henrik? So normal and authentic that he would obsess over her disappearance for forty years and never suspect that Ugly Man was having his way with a vulnerable child? So camouflaged, in fact, Uncle Henrik did not even have a hint of suspicion that ugly brother Martin was abusing the teen. Doesn’t wash. Not believable.

Ending number three: Mikael exacts revenge on the nasty, bad industrialist who sent him to prison for libel. Which wasn’t libel, the author says. Mikael just didn’t have the goods on the industralist. Lisbeth provides the data, obtained through illegal hacking, that brings boogey man capitalist down, down, down. The author has Mikael striking a pose for ethical behavior in prosecution. How many lines does he devote to this purist stance against pressure of his two colleagues? Oh, just a few lines. The conversation that explores this dilemma reads like a wart on the nose, it is so disconnected to the themes of the novel. It sounds like someone asked, what about the moral principle here? So the author deals with it just enough to strike a pose of ethical purity but must have the protagonist give in to unethical behavior just for the revenge to proceed.

And speaking of moral principles, what of the girls that Martin and his ugly father tortured and murdered? Martin conveniently kills himself rather than suffer the disgrace of being tried in the courts. Therefore with this convenient plot twist, the Vanger family avoids nasty exposure because of this convenient death. Only Mikael and Lisbeth could pull the plug from that drain and let loathsome sewage roll down to the gutter. But if author Larsson would let that happen, there would be no business left for the shining example of a WONDERFULLY competent woman (Harriet) to rescue. The author must find a way to avoid that catastrophe even if poor murdered women and their families are denied justice. Oh, find out who they were and give them money under the table. Money covers all sins, whether one is a hated industrialist or a crusading Trotskyite journalist. Disgusting example of moral failure.

And on the subject of disgusting examples of moral failure, what of Mikael’s casual and bloodless relationships with women? First: This affair with his business partner where she divides her time so smoothly, so casually between the beds of her artiste husband and “little head” Mikael is strange and improbable. It is flatly two-dimensional characterization and an expression of male fantasy, clear and simple. It is not an issue of religious morality but rather heart-deep, fundamental feminine reality. When a woman behaves this way, there is a profound emotional dysfunction underneath the behavior, usually a history of abuse resulting in a lifeless emotional life. The author proves himself incompetent and inept by avoiding any issue there.

Then, Mikael’s casual habit of slipping the little head into any available slot whenever presented with no thought of consequences. Vanger niece Cecilia throws herself at him. Poor abused girl with the dragon tattoo forces herself on him. Gotta do it if it is available. Male fantasy. Nonchalant masculine callousness.

And the killer example of the author’s lack of coherent emotional connection is Mikael’s relationship with his daughter. She was just a plot device for Larsson. The sperm donor father is a cardboard cut-out man. Sad.

What about this novel has so many people uttering such slobbering acclaim? I wonder if they read the same book I did, gushing as they are in unbridled praise and all aflutter with excitement. The book is amateurish, uses falsely dramatic plot devices, wraps up unsatisfactorily and is downright boring. The author started off with strong character descriptions and an interesting plot projection. The story seemed believable at first but as various lines played out, I became less and less interested and thoroughly disengaged. A true disappointment.

The book has only one saving grace; it is evocative of place.

If I lost this book in the middle of reading it I would not go out and buy a new copy to find out what happens. I just do not care. I’ll sell this paperback at my next garage sale for fifty cents.

Part 4: Hostile Takeover, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

SPOILER WARNING.

Okay, dear readers. It is getting close. At the end of Part 3: Mergers, we are suddenly presented with the solution to who is the Man Who Hate(s) Women.

Let’s define suddenly. Abruptly, unexpectedly, out of the blue. It is obvious that the author Stieg Larsson is so bored with writing this part of the novel that he takes handfuls of torn up laser paper fresh off the printer, and throws it to the wind. Larsson is running for the first finish line so that he can get to the real fantasy finish of the novel, the novel he really wants to write, not this one.

Mikael discovers that Martin was on the island the afternoon that Harriet went missing. Mikael goes to Martin’s house in the late evening to ask him about this discrepancy between report and fact. Martin pounces on Mikael, drags him down to his torture room, shackles him, strips him, and confesses all.

Martin. Harriet’s brother. Oh and the father too, by the way. Serial murderers. The father sexually abused Harriet when she was a teenager. The father made Martin sexually abuse Harriet. The father forced Martin to perform fellatio on him and initiated Martin into the cult of sadistic serial slaughter. Just how it is. Just a few pages here of fevered conversation.

(And, you know, come to think of it, Swedish men in this novel seem to treat their women badly. Let’s see, there are a few in the novel who are good guys. Dragan Armansky is a good guy but he’s Croatian, after all. Oh, perhaps Palmquist, the lawyer/guardian, is on the good list. He’s Swedish. But I digress. As does Larsson quite often.)(No, Mikael is not on my good list. He is emotionally disassociated from his women. Even from his daughter.)

Now, don’t worry, dear reader. Lisbeth saves Mikael. Don’t know how she knew to come looking for Mikael at Martin’s house, but – hey! Hang a lantern on it; she’s good. Must be.

Lisbeth takes a golf club to Martin. Doesn’t kill him. But Mikael is freed. Don’t worry, dear reader. Martin kills himself. Something about a car crash, turning headlong into a big truck. Yada-yada. Don’t quote me on the details here because I was skimming through this part. Boring.

(The famed authors of “Structuring Your Novel” – Robert Meredith and John Fitzgerald – say “Don’t write the parts that readers won’t read.” Exemplary example here. Gratuitously violent, nasty sex-torture, or boring chase scenes. Won’t read. Don’t write.)

[Big sigh here. Pant. Pant. Pant.] Must finish blogging, must finish blogging. It’s a race to the boring end …

Martin doesn’t know what happened to Harriet. But we find through a quick and implausible twist of the plot, that Cecilia’s almost twin sister Anita helped Harriet off the island, gave Harriet her own passport. Harriet runs to Switzerland and lives in a convent until she meets a landed Australian. Marries him. Moves to Australia. Manages a sheep farm. They get rich. She’s a shining example of a WONDERFULLY competent woman. Comes back to the island and turns the Vanger family business around. Tears and applause all ‘round. End of story.

Well not quite.

I can’t stand it anymore. Here is the last paragraph of a book review by Alex Berenson, New York Times 9/14/08, who says it so much better than I:
But the real disappointment in “Girl” comes in its final section, after the mystery of Harriet’s disappearance has been solved. Without any warning, “Girl” metamorphoses into a boring account of [Mikael] Blomkvist’s effort to take down the executive who originally won the libel lawsuit mentioned at the start of the novel. The story of his revenge is boring and implausible, relying heavily on lazy e-mail exchanges between characters. And so “Girl” ends blandly. Only Ake Daun and the Swedish tourist board can be happy about that.

Thank you, Mr. Berenson. I’ll read every novel you ever write in gratitude for your succinct synopsis of the ending chapters of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. You saved me.

I must go now and lie down for a rest. This novel was so bad, I need a swooning couch.

Part 3: Mergers, 2nd blog on this part of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Mikael falls into a brilliant strategy for investigating Harriet’s disappearance. He enters the time machine through photos of the day and looks around. He finds new avenues to pursue.

Also, Mikael finally meets the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Mikael finds out that the Vanger family had him investigated and demands to read the report. Lisbeth pegs him like an insect under a bright light. It is obvious that she is an accomplished hacker, member of a hacker underground. She can get into anything, given time.

Mikael charms this head-shy, abused filly of a girl. They become sexual partners. You had to expect it, right? I am beginning to disconnect from this author on his treatment of female sexuality and its masculine corollary: “I always think with the wrong head.” Does protagonist Mikael even pause to consider the ramifications of his casual sex? Or – to put it as a statement – author Stieg Larsson uses female sexuality as a prop in his novel to support a personal identity, “Studman, Healing Power of the Little Head.”

I digress – just as Larsson digresses. But I will pick up this thread later under the category “Larsson’s artificial struggles with ethical behavior.”

Protogonist Mikael points Lisbeth on the trail of the serial murders. He goes looking for photos in the time machine.

Lisbeth’s search is interesting to follow. Mikael’s search is … contrived. BUT, this is a novel after all. Let us suspend judgment. They both need to find answers for the plot to proceed.

Lisbeth finds that there were ghastly murders throughout Sweden that follow the travels of Harriet’s father. Mutilation of the body after death allude to the scripture verses. Mikael finds that Cecilia and her sister Anita look almost like twins and Mikael has confused the two when studying the photos of the day. The person in Harriet’s room was Anita not Cecilia. Also we find that although Harriet’s brother Martin, who was reported to be absent during the critical time period, was in fact present.

Mikael then becomes a target from someone unknown. First, an article in a newspaper associated with Birger Vanger. Martin comes to Mikael’s cottage door, very solemn, to show him the vitriolic article. “I didn’t do it. Perhaps Birger did because you and he had a set-to at Henrik’s hospital bed.” Then Mikael’s cat is killed, mutilated and thrown on his cottage porch. Then Mikael is shot at and wounded. Then pressure is applied for Mikael to return to Stockholm and the magazine. Martin was behind that “suggestion”. Mikael and Lisbeth find that the Vanger mausoleum looks to be desecrated but only someone who has key access could have done it.

So action is beginning, action is accelerating. Mikael is getting close to something tender and someone who is still living is trying to get Mikael off track.

It gets bad from here, dear reader. Not the action but the plot. Larsson is running for the first finish line so he can get to the real fantasy finish of the novel.

Do editors even read the last third of any novel? Cheeee-zz.